Not your average cocktail party

by kiterre| HoMin| M| non-AU| romance + fluff + humour| one-shot


A/N: Đây là một câu chuyện rất vớ vẩn mình viết từ cách đây ba năm lận, nhưng vì chưa post ở đâu cả nên hôm nay bôi trét lại ra đây, vừa để mừng Giáng sinh, vừa để chúc mừng kỷ niệm mười ba năm debut của hai anh. Năm sau hai anh giải ngũ rồi, có định làm theo nội dung fic em viết thì tiến hành nhanh nhanh đi nhé ahihi~


It started out as a harmless half-joke.

On one of their dinner dates right after they had announced their relationship, Changmin smirked around the rim of his wine glass and said casually – “Since we got together with a bang, now we’ll have to go out in a blast too, no?”

With a fond smile, Yunho thought back to when those stalker photos first got all over the newspapers – to say all hell broke loose was a cute understatement. He recalled vaguely their manager’s panic voice over the phone, babbling something about “the end of both your careers”. Everything else happened later within those two months went by in a blur as well, but he couldn’t forget the despair and terror running in their veins at the time, hearts thumping too loud, when they stood side by side at a press conference and declared that U-know Yunho and Choikang Changmin were in a romantic relationship. Yes, they got together with a big bang indeed.

That was why he just shrugged and went along with it, fondness in his voice, “Yeah, I guess we’ll even need an event planner for that.”

And so it has been settled since then that when they break up, if there would come such a day, it’s going to be a press release worthy event.

Five years down the road, making up a total sixteen years of them living together and eight years in relationship, Yunho finds himself sitting on the floor in his sweatpants, planning for said event.

“It should be a buffet dinner, no?” – Changmin shifts in his seat on the couch behind Yunho.

“How about one of those fun cocktail parties? With DJ and everything?” – Yunho suggests gently, turning around to look into his soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend’s eyes.

“Of course you would like that.” – Changmin smiles that soft, sweet smile of his, then quickly adds, “As long as I get to do all the decorating, I don’t see why not…”

They discuss until late past midnight, trying to finalize as many details as possible because Changmin has to film all day tomorrow. When the younger nudges his arm as he yawns and Yunho climbs up onto the couch so that they fall asleep curling together, too tired to care. They haven’t broken up yet, anyway.


Yunho wakes up the next morning alone on the couch, snuggled up in a blanket. He found a post-it note stick onto the fridge – “Gone to work, won’t be back ‘till late. Please eat properly and contact the event planner today.” A smile tucks on the corner of Yunho’s pouty lips. It amazes him how Changmin can be bossy, caring, and clearly-I’m-breaking-up-with-you at the same time, pulling it off perfectly just with a post-it note. He continues fixing his breakfast, then calls Boa over after he finished eating.

“Morning, Yunnie bear~” – she sings song as Yunho lets her in – “what is it do you need my expertise for?”

He waits for her to sit down on the couch before saying, soft and casual – “Changmin and I are breaking up.”

The words rolling on his tongue sound so strange it startles Yunho a bit, but within half a second of watching his best friend’s eyes turn as wide as saucers, he kind of forgets the feeling altogether.

“You mean you guys had a fight?” – Boa exhales.

“No, no fighting at all.” – Yunho answers calmly – “We just decided that it’s best to break up at this time.”


“Well, just because.” – Yunho scratches his head – “I guess we stopped loving each other, so there’s no use in trying to fix it.”

“Since when?” – Boa sounds exasperated – “You guys were grossly lovey-dovey last week at Heechul’s party!”

“Okay, I can’t explain it to you this way, but it’s true!” – Yunho starts to feel a bit crazy around the eyes. Why do people try to interfere in his love life all the time? Why does he need to have an excuse to break up with his boyfriend?

Boa looks taken aback at Yunho’s exclaim and it makes him feel bad, just a little bit. So he softens his voice and tries again, “Look, Changmin and I still care for each other, and maybe that’s why you were mistaken it as being lovey-dovey. The thing is, I guess we just fell out of love now. Everything just seems so… bland and boring.”

“Yeah, okay, I think I understand a little.” – Boa pats his shoulder – “So what do you need me to do? Are you sad?”

“No.” – it’s Yunho’s turn to be all wide-eyed at her – “I’m not sad, don’t misunderstand, I’m fine. I just need you to help with our break-up party.”

“Your what?”

“Our break-up party! We want to say it officially and everything, just like when we got together.”

Boa has this look in her eyes that clearly expresses disbelief and pity. Yunho smacks her arm – “Will you stop judging me? We agreed on it long time ago. I just need your help. Will you help?”

“Sure, since you’re my so-called best friend and all…” – Yunho hates how she’s still so hesitant about this but decides to let it slide this time.

He claps his hand happily and says instead – “So we decided on a cool cocktail party with a band playing live and a DJ and a bar area, maybe a stage? You can sing there if you want to…”

“I think I’ll pass.”

“Well, your loss then! But for anything else, do you think we need an event planner? What is the trend lately?”

“Depends on your guest list actually. And like, how fancy do you want it to be? But I don’t think it should be like, real extravaganza…” – Yunho watches with interest as his best friend slip into hardcore brainstorming mode, her eyebrows frowned in concentration.

They discuss for three hours straight and when Yunho looks up at the clock, it’s one in the afternoon. Boa has to leave then for a meeting at two, and Yunho feels bad for not having anything for her to eat. If Changmin were around he would have remembered to order something for both of them, but Yunho tries not to dwell on that too much. Changmin has always done everything right and perfect anyway, why should he even bother?


Turns out Yunho also has to attend a meeting with his team at three that afternoon and only gets home at half past nine, head throbbing and tired to the bones. What did he think when he decided to open a media agency after getting discharged from the army, really? He drops himself onto the bed and falls asleep almost immediately. Yet, when familiar chapped lips nipping on his collarbone waken him, Yunho feels like ‘exhaustion’ has never been in his vocabulary.

Changmin smells of exquisite wine and feels so soft and warm when Yunho runs his fingers teasingly up and down the lean torso. When the younger man yanks his dress shirt open, mumbling something along the line of “should change yourself before going to bed”, Yunho knows it’s going to be a quick, frantic fuck because he could never control himself with a drunk and demanding Changmin.

Much to Yunho’s delight, his boyfriend undresses both of them in record speed and starts to rut against his thigh, breathy moans filling Yunho’s ears.

It takes as long as ten seconds for Yunho’s desire to win over his self control. He flips them so that Changmin lies on his back, immediately pushes a finger in. The younger boy writhes and pants litanies of “hurry up” and “fuck, gimme more” the whole time Yunho preps him, which is just as well because Yunho is so hard it starts to hurt and his hands are shaking as he clumsily lubing his own cock.

Yunho pushes in slow and smooth and sets for a steady rhythm, never taking his eyes off Changmin, the younger man is whimpering and fisting the blanket beneath him, pupils blown with lust. It stuns Yunho every time how beautiful Changmin is spread out for him like this, his hair a mess sticking up every which way and skin glistening with sweat. He leans down for a crushing, open-mouthed kiss, one hand cupping Changmin’s face while the other reaching down to stroke him, never halting his thrusts. It only takes five or six tugs of his hand and a thumb pressing on the leaking slit for Changmin to come with a loud groan and turn pliant in Yunho’s arms.

When Changmin recovers from his orgasm, he looks up at Yunho with dazed, satiated eyes and clenches around him slightly, which is all the encouragement Yunho needs to quicken his pace and fucks Changmin relentlessly into the mattress. He comes hard and deep inside his boyfriend shortly after a few earnest, ball-deep thrusts, growling and collapsing on top of him, pants muffled by another wet, desperate kiss.

They both fall asleep as Yunho vaguely remembers that he has to pull his dick out, but it takes effort and Yunho’s just too spent to do so.


Yunho wakes up to the sensation of someone nuzzling his shoulder and a fluffy, messy head resting next to his own. Changmin looks like he has just woken up as well what with his half-yawn and hands rubbing on his eyes. It’s the cutest scene and Yunho just has to lean down to kiss him.

As their lips are about to touch, Changmin snaps his eyes open so fast it startles Yunho to halt the action midway. Before he knows it, Yunho has been pushed right off the bed and lands roughly on his butt with a loud oomph.

“Jung Yunho, what do you think you’re doing?” – Changmin squints his eyes down at him, his voice solemn.

“Uh… kiss you?”

“You’re such a jerk! You’re breaking up with me in a week and still you try to get into my pants!”

Yunho still can’t quite wrap his mind around what’s going on, but Changmin’s train of thoughts is miles ahead.

“I can’t do this anymore!” – the younger exclaims, “We cannot do this anymore!”

“What? What are we doing?”

“I’m moving out, Yunho.” – Changmin looks him square in the face and says clearly – “That’s the only way we can really put an end to this. I should have done that earlier.”

And just like that, few hours later, Yunho finds himself sitting in the living room of their apartment – their home, truly alone after so many years, confusion still clouding his mind.


But the show must go on, and they have to go through with the party if they really want to break up properly and thoroughly.

And Shim Changmin always does things properly and thoroughly.

That is the only reason Yunho gets a call at the ungodly hour of half past three in the morning after four days hearing no words from his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.

“Are you asleep?”

“Not anymore.” – Yunho barely hides the grudge in his voice, eyes still shut tight.

“So, I’ve been thinking about our cocktail party. Do you think it should go on social media? Going viral? That’s your expertise, right?”

“Really, Changmin? This is why you call?”

“What else would I be calling for? Now answer the question!”

“Well I’d say why not, let’s go all out! I’ll have my team draft out a media plan for this. We should start the pre-launch phase three days ahead…”

“Have you been busy?” – Changmin sounds impatient, which is weird considering he was the one so eager to hear Yunho’s answer on the matter – “I mean, is that okay for your team?”

“We’ll manage. It won’t be a complicated plan either…”

“Okay, don’t forget to treat them sometimes. Order some pizza in once in a while. Eating is important. That applies to yourself as well, mister!”

Yunho suddenly isn’t sleepy anymore. He thinks for a while, before venturing extremely carefully, “Changmin, are you calling because… maybe, just a little, like… you miss me or something?”

“No!” – on the other end his boyfriend screeches, and then replies quickly, “I suddenly feel so exhausted. I’m going to sleep now. Good night, Jung!”

“Night night, Changminnie.”

Yunho goes back to sleep with a smirk tugging on his lips.


It was a week before the party that Yunho finds himself in front of Kyuhyun’s apartment on an emergency demand. From Heechul, that is.

He is dragged in even before the doorbell finishes ringing and forced to sit down on the couch surrounded by Kyuhyun, Hyukjae, Donghae, and Heechul. Nothing good is going to come out of this.

“So, we hear about your party.” – Kyuhyun starts calmly

“Did something ruin your brain?” – Heechul is… not as calm

“Yeah, Yunho-yah, we’re so confused right now.” – Donghae looks like he’s concerned for Yunho’s life – “when Changmin said he was moving out we just thought you had a fight and it’ll be over soon. But almost two weeks has passed, and Changmin is so so determined about your break up party!”

“Of course he is!” – Yunho declare proudly, but regrets it almost immediately as Heechul smacks his head and says grimly

“He bought five DJ tables, Yunho-yah! Who needs five DJ tables at once?!”

“And he was trying to acquire the chef from Park Hyatt Seoul the other day. Are you sure you can even pay for that, hyung?” – Kyuhyun is shedding his composed façade

“Well, I just…” – sweat is licking down Yunho’s back and it feels not good

“And why do you have to break up in the first place?” – Hyukjae sounds like he’s losing it right about now

“Yeah, why?” – three other voices speak at once and Yunho grimaces. Looks like he’s not going to get out of this intact.

“Well, we just fell out of love…”

“Bullshit!” – Heechul cuts in with his scrutiny looks, “Tell us the true story so that we can fix it! Is it sex? Is Changmin not putting out? Are you losing your stamina?”

Yunho’s mind wanders to that night two weeks ago and he smirks unintentionally.

“Ew, don’t tell us what puts that gross smile on your face!” – Hyukjae kicks him out of his oh-so-sweet-and-sexy memory and turns to Heechul, “Probably not sex, hyung. This guy looks like he’s getting it alright!”

“Yeah, I am getting it alright!” – Yunho knows he sounds smug – “Why is my stamina even in the question in the first place?”

“Because why else would the two of you break up like this? Abruptly after years of disgustingly passionate love? You guys are the gay icon of this country for crying out loud!”

“Look, we… about each other! We care deeply…” – Yunho tries to string his disjointed words together sensibly but it is difficult, since the thoughts in his head are just as scattered ­– “Changmin is an amazing boyfriend, yeah, and an amazing person all around. But after all these years, we just seem to fall into some kind of routines and everything we do becomes so boring! Even the fucking isn’t all that fun anymore!”

Yunho scratches his head as he remembers the first time they thought about breaking up was after a real quick, unimpressive round of sex that ended before they could feel any sense of pleasure. And then without them noticing, all the dinners and movie dates and visiting the parents became duty.

He continues, “We’re both responsible grown-ups, we won’t try to patch up a relationship that has gone cold. Are you happy now?”

Heechul looks every bit like he’s not happy at all. There is a drawn-out silence in Kyuhyun’s living room until Donghae speaks up – “Then, I guess this party is inevitable now, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess.” – Yunho thinks he has won, in a way, but all he feels is defeated.


On December 23rd, three days before their party, Yunho calls Changmin

“Hello there.” – Changmin sounds aloof as ever, like he didn’t just pick up at the first ring

“Oh, hi babe!” – Yunho fiddles with the hem of his shirt, trying to sound confident and no-nonsense like he actually had things to discuss with Changmin about and not like he called on a whim because he kind of missed his cold blooded brat of a boyfriend, “Are you at your parents’ house right now?”

“Yeah, just finished dinner. You?”

“Still at work. I have an early plane to catch tomorrow, so I’m trying to finalize everything…”

“Eaten anything yet?”

“A bar of chocolate and some milk.”

“That’s not a proper meal!”

Yunho hums softly as a respond, basking in the warmth of how familiar this feels after weeks of texts and quick calls solely about the party and nothing else.

“I uh– got Jihye those speakers that she wanted. So when do you think I can give them to her…”

“Oh, you’ll meet her at the party. But those speakers are way overcharged, you shouldn’t have spent money on them.”

“She says they go with everything else in her office.”

“Yeah they kinda do. Speaking of which, your parents will be home tomorrow right? Because I have some natural red ginseng…”

“Give them to your parents first.”

“Got them something else. Your dad always loves ginseng more, anyway.”

“Well, he loves you most.” – Changmin sounds hesitant all of a sudden, “He just asked about you today, actually. How do you plan on telling them, our parents?”

Yunho feels a bit giddy when he realizes that Changmin said “our parents” like they were actually married or something, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, maybe on New Year? Right now we have a party to throw, remember?”

Changmin breathes out an “okay” that sends chills down Yunho’s spine.

“Now you get your stuff done and get some proper food in your belly okay?” – there is fondness clearly in the younger man’s voice

“Got it babe. I’ll see you in a few days?”

“Sure. I lo– take care!”

“I will. Enjoy yourself!”

Even after Changmin has hung up, Yunho still feels a bit giddy. That’s right, just a little bit, and surely he does not giggle out loud for real. At all.


The day of the party rolls around faster than Yunho has thought, and too soon it’s 6.00 PM already.

He stands by Changmin’s side at the door of the hall to greet their guests. The younger is wearing an impeccable dark blue tux that fits him like a dream and has positively stunned Yunho the first time his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend walked in. Yunho, as per Changmin’s fashion instruction, is having on a three-piece suit in matching color and sporting his favorite bowtie.

Changmin couldn’t acquire the chef from Park Hyatt after all, but the one he has chosen for the day is not one bit less than brilliant. His choice of liquor is exquisite as well but that goes without saying for someone with elegant tastes like Changmin.

The DJ is an old friend of Yunho’s and he has been doing a great job until the Super Junior gang decides to crash the stage with their old hit Sorry Sorry and the whole room just explodes.

Three hours flies by and then it’s time for Yunho and Changmin to announce the real reason of the party, aside from it being an awesome anniversary celebration.

Changmin opens the speech, after they have all the guests’ attention

“As you all know, today is Dong Bang Shin Ki’s fifteenth anniversary!” – a round of applause and whistles answers him just to quickly dies down as Changmin continues – “Yet the real reason why we want to gather you all here today is a bit less exciting.”

They look at each other, and Yunho can see something in Changmin’ eyes. Something strange. Something like uncertainty.

It’s there for merely a split of a second, and then Yunho hears him say – “Today we are breaking up. Our romantic relationship has come to an end.”

The hall suddenly turns silent. Some people gasp, some whisper their disbelief, the rest are simply stunned speechless.

Until it breaks into unimaginable noises and reporters start taking photos of them and everyone wants to ask questions; in short, they have created chaos again.

The unavoidable ending to such a fabulous party is that Yunho has to ask all their guests to leave, the both of them wish not to answer any question and have no comments on whichever interpretation of this event, thank you very much.

It takes an hour for them to clear the hall and another half to manage the cleaning team before driving home. They do not say any word the whole time.

Changmin sighs when Yunho parks the car in the basement of their apartment. It sounds half relief, have regret, so Yunho looks up at him as a question. They haven’t the need for words since a long time ago

“You know what,” – Changmin finally says, “I– this is really stupid–? It’s just–“

“I don’t want to break up with you!” – Yunho blurts out before he can stop himself, but then – “There, I said it. I think this whole thing was a mistake. I’m still in love with you, I don’t know–“

He never gets to say what he doesn’t know, because Changmin is kissing him, hard and wet and clumsy and desperate and just perfect. Yunho puts a hand on the small of his boyfriend’s back and the other into his hair, giving back as good as he gets. Their teeth stop clashing and the desperation toned down after a while as the kiss turns into something sweet and delicate with just a hint of dirty.

Yunho cups his boyfriend’s face as he slides his tongue across the other’s lower lip, then finally breaking the kiss for breathing. Changmin is suddenly a clingy baby, resting his forehead against Yunho’s, hands never stop touching the older man’s shoulders and chest.

“God I miss kissing you so much!” – he whispers more for himself than anyone else

“Agree! Kissing is awesome, why did we stop?” – Yunho answers while nipping on Changmin’s jaw

“We are the biggest idiots!” – this time Yunho only hums his agreement because he is too busy bruising Changmin’s long, smooth, perfect neck.

“Oh God how are we going to tell them that we’re not breaking up? And our parents? They are going to read about it all over the newspaper tomorrow! Oh how am I ever going to live this down with Kyuhyun?!”

Changmin’s rambling are usually cute and endearing, but this time Yunho finds it quite annoying because hey, he’s doing all the work here! So he sucks harder on the tender skin at the joint of Changmin’s neck and shoulder, one hand deliberately pressing on the younger’s chest, which gains him a gasp followed by a desperate moan. Changmin finally responds in earnest as he lifts Yunho’s face up for another wet and inviting kiss.

Towards the end of their make out session, Changmin has another brilliant idea, “Let’s not get back together with a bang again! I liked it best when we had to keep this a secret anyway!”

Yunho agrees wholeheartedly and shows that enthusiastically by kissing him over and over and over again.

– end –


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